Well, when I encountered Boston friend, Jan, this morning on my sunny day walk and she said she missed the column...well, it just seems time to act. So here is one written in February, 2011:
The announcement had been made the day before. It was not as if it were something we had anxiously been awaiting, but as the group of friends sat around the table playing with clay, making ceramic birdhouses together, the subject came up.
As so often happens in these settings, conversations twist and turn in many directions as the focus stays on the work at hand of creation...in this case these birdhouses.
"Did you hear that Merriam-Webster announced the word of the yeat?"
I don't know whether we were all just specially tuned in that week or what, but somehow we had all heard the news. The announced word of the year for 2010 was, not surprisingly to any of us, "austerity."
We batted around our thoughts on the choice and what it seemed to mean to each of us. We even considered what our choice might be for 2011.
"Civility!" I blurted. "I vote for civility to be the 2011 Merriam-Webster word of the year."
....How we speak to and about each other says a lot about each of us--much more than it says about the object about which we speak. If we are to have any self-respect, then the civility we show others is not a choice but a command. Emmylou Harris said it:"...if we don't get our civility back, we're in trouble."
How? Where do we begin to gain or regain civility, respect for others and their rights? How do we create an environment that can help grow peace rather than one that is open to violence and hatred?
Graciousness, kindness, common decency, consideration, respect--each wrapped up in civility--are these just empty words? When we disagree, we certainly can do so respectfully, without attacking the character of another.
Can't we?
Shift to today...February 16, 2019. Eight years have passed. Are we any closer to embracing civility? Or, as I fear, have we gone entirely the other way?
Several years ago the CivilityProject.org shut down after two years of trying. They had reached out to politicians and others to participate. They asked participants to sign a pledge that contained just three items:
1. I will be civil in my public discourse and behavior.
2. I will be respectful of others whether or not I agree with them.
3. I will stand against incivility when I see it.
How hard could it be? At that time a mere three politicians signed--Sen. Joe Lieberman and Reps. Frank Wolf and Sue Myrick. Not one governor took the pledge.
Where are we headed?
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