Well, here goes: "Life in the No Contact Zone" could easily be the new heading for the blog itself. Having set in play that I would have the goal to do two blog posts per week way back at the beginning of 2019, I have failed miserably at this in the past week or so. What is there to say, I have wondered far too often.
But for some reason, the coming of Mother's Day seems to have triggered something. This will be the first Mother's Day that I have spent without a mother and I find myself thinking of her and, ultimately, how glad I am in some ways that she is not here to be part of all this. At the end, she was on hospice and they took such wonderful care of her. I still marvel that her skin as I stroked her arm on that last day of her life felt like a baby's--smooth and soft and completely unblemished in any way. I'm sure there are still many in hospice and still receiving that wonderful care. These caring folks must be really struggling during this pandemic just as the doctors and nurses and other healthcare workers are. They, too, are to be honored.
If my mother were still alive, I would be grieving the loss of being able to see her. And, while I am grieving her loss, at least there is the knowledge that not only is she at peace, but I can be too, knowing that I am not failing her in any way.
Still, a solid two months into all this, I miss my sister, who is also a mother. I miss my daughter, who is also a mother. I miss my many friends who are mothers and wonder if they too are missing their loved ones. My own sense of loss is, though, as nothing to what so many are experiencing. My heart hurts for the losses suffered by so many others. The grief is immense.
And yet, though I feel lost without being able to connect with others in the usual ways, I respect the No Contact Zone and frequently find myself angry with those who cannot seem to "get it." While a part of me would like to really go off on them here, I will strive to respect their right to a different way. I only wish they could respect mine. This No Contact Zone is not fun. But my mother, while we did not agree on many things, did teach me to respect the rights of others, to respect science, to use discernment over judgment, to cherish each day, and so much more.
All that said, (and yes, I know that I have been rambling).....
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY