WHO ARE YOU? WHO AM I?

What I CAN do

The urge to write "real" persists in knocking on my door. But what IS real? Who am I in all that is going on in the world right now?

Am I the older, wiser person who believes I understand the world? Hell, no!

Am I the Pollyanna who sees all through rose-colored glasses? NOT!!

So what is real for me on this July day 2020? 

I worry. I know moments of despair. I rage. I cry. I wonder why I seem to have no wisdom to impart, why there seems to be no context in which to focus merely on what I can control.
Everything is not fine...and nothing I can do is going to make it so.

And yet...there is the garden to tend. There is the writing I've committed to doing. There are mini-art projects to keep creativity going. There are wonderful and wise books to read. There are Zoom opportunities to hear authors talk about their work. There are YouTube videos where more gardening tips than one could ever use reside. Recipes to try. Friends to contact. Walks in new places and old, and increasing the miles because there is the gift of time.

And, speaking of time, much of what seems to be lost during this pandemic will eventually be restored if history can be believed. But time? It will be gone, not to be replaced or restored. Some things relating to time will just never be. And so I grieve. Being real, I need to acknowledge my grief for not only what IS, but also for what will never be.

That's not negative; it just is what is on this day in July 2020.